Seeing you move on hit my ego harder than I expected. For a second I felt completely replaceable, even though I know relationships don’t really work like that. I caught myself zooming in on the picture like that was going to tell me anything useful. You’re allowed to be happy. Apparently my ego needs more time.

Happy holidays. I saw burgers and immediately connected it to one of our stupid old routines. It hit me around midnight, which somehow made the whole thought feel more random. I hope today feels warm, easy, and drama-free for you. You don’t have to answer. You don’t have to answer this. That probably sounds more dramatic than it felt.

I miss being your friend. I expected to miss the romantic stuff, but I didn’t expect to miss the dumb memes and pointless calls this much. The quiet after losing our daily conversations has been one of the strangest parts. Maybe that’s the piece of the breakup I underestimated most. I almost ignored the feeling.

I almost texted you by accident today. I didn’t expect to say that today. It was such a small thing that I felt ridiculous for noticing it. I saw spicy chips and immediately connected it to one of our stupid old routines. Apparently muscle memory is more loyal than relationships 🙃 It was such a small thing, but it stuck.

I want another chance with you. I didn’t expect to say that today. It was such a small thing that I felt ridiculous for noticing it. I almost ignored it, then kept circling back to it anyway. If we ever try again, I want it slower, more honest, and actually different. You don’t have to answer.

Honestly, I checked your page even though I knew I shouldn’t. Spotify showed me something that pulled the memory forward before I was ready. I almost ignored it, then kept circling back to it anyway. I think I’m finally learning that caring about you doesn’t require having access to you. That’s really all. It was such a small thing, but it stuck.

I miss your voice more than I expected. Something tiny happened on Sunday and my first instinct was still to tell you. It’s the boring updates and inside jokes I miss more than anything dramatic. That’s all. Your absence just felt louder than usual for a minute. It was such a small thing, but it stuck.

I’m proud of you. I didn’t expect to say that today. Instagram showed me something that pulled the memory forward before I was ready. I was at the parking lot when it crossed my mind, and the timing felt weirdly specific. You earned it. I hope you actually let yourself enjoy it. I’m trying not to overthink it.

I have one last thing I want to say. I didn’t expect to say that today. I don’t want our final memories of each other to be nothing but anger. I was at the pizza place when it crossed my mind, and the timing felt weirdly specific. We had good moments too, and I’m finally okay admitting that without wanting the relationship back. Anyway, I hope you’re okay.

I remembered one of our old trips today. I’m keeping this simple. It wasn’t even the big moments. I remembered some stupid little detail that made us laugh for hours. I almost ignored it, then kept circling back to it anyway. Funny what the brain decides to save. I just wanted to say it once.