I miss the person I used to tell everything to. I miss being able to talk without wondering whether every sentence has emotional meaning now. Losing the relationship also meant losing the person who knew all the side characters in my daily stories. I know being friends could make things messy, so I’m not pushing for it.

I want you to come over, which is probably a terrible idea. I was at the gym when it crossed my mind, and the timing felt weirdly specific. I saw spicy chips and immediately connected it to one of our stupid old routines. If this sounds emotionally dangerous, ignore me. I’m aware it probably is. You don’t have to answer.

I know we agreed on no contact. This is probably random. Something big happened today and you were still the first person I wanted to tell. I saw dumplings and immediately connected it to one of our stupid old routines. I’m not asking to restart anything. I just noticed the habit is still there. You don’t have to answer.

I’ve changed in ways I wish had happened sooner. It hit me around midnight, which somehow made the whole thought feel more random. Google Photos showed me something that pulled the memory forward before I was ready. I’m not claiming I’m suddenly perfect. I just understand myself better now. That’s really all. I just wanted to say it once and leave it there.

I regret how I ended things with you. I can see now that my silence forced you to carry questions that belonged to me. I acted like making a fast exit would hurt less, when it really just took away your chance to understand. I can’t change it now, but I can at least stop pretending I handled it well.

I never told you how much one small thing you did meant to me. I’m keeping this simple. You showed up for me when I was falling apart, even while we were struggling ourselves. I almost ignored it, then kept circling back to it anyway. I remembered that today and wanted you to know I didn’t forget. Anyway, I hope you’re okay.

Honestly, I saw your photo today. Instagram showed me something that pulled the memory forward before I was ready. It was such a small thing that I felt ridiculous for noticing it. It was strange seeing how much time has passed in one picture. I just wanted to say it once. I didn’t know what to do with that for a minute.

I owe you an apology. I can see now how exhausting it was to keep asking me for basic communication. I said things during our fights that I knew would hurt you, and being hurt myself doesn’t excuse that. You didn’t deserve that version of me, and I’m sorry. I almost ignored the feeling. The timing made it feel even stranger.

I dreamed about you last night. Instagram showed me something that pulled the memory forward before I was ready. I was at the mall when it crossed my mind, and the timing felt weirdly specific. Apparently my brain misses the ordinary parts more than the dramatic ones. Anyway, I hope you’re okay. I didn’t think that would still get to me.

You up? I’m completely sober, unfortunately 😂 I didn’t expect to say that today. I started craving fries, which immediately reminded me of our ridiculous late-night food runs. I found an old hoodie right before that, which probably didn’t help. I’m not asking you to come over. I just miss that kind of easy night. The timing made it feel even stranger.